"It's the eggplant, Dr. Allergy," said Small Paul.

"How in the world can eggplant make you unhappy?  You do not have to eat eggplant anymore.  Don't tell me that your mother is making you eat eggplant!"

There was more than a hint of concern in his voice.  Sometimes, Doctor Allergy could not remember which was the real allergy and which was the contrived one.

"No sir, she does not let me have any eggplant because of course I am supposed to be allergic to eggplant. Small Paul dragged out the supposed. I have a craving for eggplant.  I need an eggplant fix.”

"I see.  You used to hate it when you had to eat it.  Now that you can't have it you must have it."

"That's it exactly," said Small Paul.

"Well I tell you what I’ll do.  I’ll call Momma Mall and Tall Paul and tell them I want to see you again and then I’ll fix everything up.  I’ll see you in a few days.  Do you think that you can hang on until then?"

"Yes, Doctor Allergy," said Small Paul.  "It will be difficult not having eggplant but I can hang on for another few days.  I am most grateful for your help," he added as he hung up the phone.

And as soon as he had said 'grateful' he was reminded of the smell of grated cheese on top of the steaming eggplant. Small Paul knew that he would have trouble getting to sleep that night.  His eggplant craving would certainly keep him awake. He was experiencing eggplant withdrawal.  Of course it didn't.  A small boy in the far frozen north, who has been out in the cold for a couple of hours, is almost guaranteed to fall asleep immediately once he is snuggled up in a nice warm bed.

A short while later, if the truth were known, but a long while later for Small Paul waiting to have his eggplant allergy reversed, Momma Mall and Tall Paul took Small Paul to see Doctor Allergy for a follow up visit. After a short talk with the patient, Doctor Allergy told Momma Mall and Tall Paul that their son was now no longer allergic to eggplant.  He was, however, now allergic to parsnips. Parsnips look like sick carrots and taste worse. They are the yuckiest stuff anyone could ever try to feed to a kid. They are not sticky and gooey like the eggplant creation, just sort of mushy and yucky.

"Small Paul will no longer be able to eat parsnips," Doctor Allergy said giving Small Paul a wink.  Sounding very technical, the good doctor continued.  "Parsnips are a C allergy.  Fudge is an R allergy."

Tall Paul and Momma Mall nodded as if they really did understand.  Small Paul merely smiled for he comprehended just what Dr. Allergy had neglected to mention to his parents.  R stood for real and C stood for contrived which means about the same as - made up to serve the convenience of the occasion.  Fudge was an R allergy.  Eggplant had been a C allergy.  Now eggplant had been replaced by a new C allergy, parsnips. Doctor Allergy had learned that when dealing with difficult parents the best thing to do was to use technical language. Just about everyone will agree without argument when they believe that they are being dazzled by science.  They will readily agree unless of course they realize that they are really being baffled by baloney.

At long last, everyone in the Mall family was happy.  Momma Mall was happy because her Small Paul was healthy and could now eat eggplant.  Small Paul was happy because he could now eat eggplant that he used to hate but that was before he wasn't supposed to have it.  He was also a little bit happy because now he did not have to eat parsnips, a vegetable that was where eggplant had been a few short months ago, namely in the yuckiest of the yucky category.

Tall Paul was just a little bit unhappy because he wanted to mess around with fudge again but didn't want to have fudge around the house because Small Paul was not supposed to have it.  Well, one fine morning Momma Mall awoke to a wonderful idea.  She told Tall Paul that he should become a fudge judge at the Fudge Olympics and that was what Tall Paul did.

Now when he comes home he comes through the door shouting:

HERE COMES THE WORLD'S BEST FUDGE JUDGE

Anyway, I guess it makes a change from:

GOOD FOR YOU TOFU

Each year when he leaves to be a judge at the Fudge Olympics he goes out the back door singing:

I AM OFF TO JUDGE THE FUDGE!

                                                                      the end