She would say, "It is an acquired taste. You will soon grow to love my eggplant delicacy."
Not in a million trillion years, thought Small Paul.
Momma Mall loved eggplant but was that any reason why he should love it? Never in a million billion trillion years will I love eggplant, judged Small Paul. Of course, it was easy for his mother to say that eggplant was good for him because she just happened to like it. Mothers do not particularly care whether you like something or not. If it is supposed to be good for you, they expect you to eat it. And that is that.
Like most small boys, Small Paul did not always like a thing just because it was good for him. What small boy does? Momma Mall did not pay much attention to Small Paul’s complaints about eggplant. Like most mothers, Momma Mall had more important things to think about.
When she was not cooking eggplant, which I think I mentioned was the yuckiest, stickiest gooiest stuff you could ever imagine, she was busy growing wonderful orchids in her greenhouse which is the only place that you can grow flowers in the far frozen north. For in the far frozen north there are no flowers except for the tiniest of wildflowers which come out and cover the landscape like a blanket for a few days in summer. Of course, you do not grow wildflowers. You just enjoy them for a moment or two and then they are gone.
Small Paul was happy making the snow squeak under his feet on his way to and from school and licking icicles when he got home. At noon, Small Paul and his friends liked to take a bobsled run or two down the hill in front of their school. Then they would stand around for a short while enjoying the weak winter sun sparkling off the snow and each would light up a candy cigarette which only tasted good outdoors, they all agreed. You stuck it in your mouth and puffed and then blew out a huge cloud of smoke. Small Paul and his friends thought it was totally cool in the cold to blow smoke from their candy cigarettes although all of them agreed that it was not cool to smoke real cigarettes, in the cold or otherwise. As soon as the school bell rang, all of the underage smokers would pop their candy cigarettes into their mouths fire end first for they felt that was also especially cool. They would then head inside to doff their parkas and mukuluks.
Small Paul was almost always happy. Small Paul even liked doing his homework because he got to do part of it on the Internet. Some of his teachers lived in Seattle, more than a thousand miles south. The only time that he was not happy was when Momma Mall served eggplant for dinner. When she served eggplant only two members of the family were happy. Still, two out of three is not too bad unless of course you just happen to be the one who detests eggplant. How could Small Paul be happy? He hated eggplant with a passion whatever that was supposed to mean.
Will this eggplant business never end? It seemed like there would never be an end to eggplant. One day, a strange thing happened. ‘Could this be the end of eggplant?’ Small Paul asked himself.
One morning, Small Paul woke up feeling sick. Small Paul did not feel well. He simply did not feel well at all. He was wheezing and sputtering. He was coughing and was covered with red spots. He simply did not feel well at all. Now, it is not all that unusual for small boys to wake up faking feeling sick, but only on school days. Of course, girls would never consider faking feeling sick just because it was a school day. Momma Mall took him to see the doctor because not even Small Paul, as clever as he was, could fake all that wheezing and sputtering not to mention the red spots. He would easily have been able to pull off the coughing. He might have even managed a wheeze or two, perhaps even a sputter. But how would he have ever managed to get those red spots all over his back?
The doctor took a long look at all those red spots and shook his head. "I just do not know what is wrong with this boy. I am going to ask Doctor Allergy to have a gander at him. He will be able to find out what is causing all this wheezing, sneezing, and coughing. He will be able to figure out why Small Paul is not well. He will surely discover why this wheezing, sneezing, coughing, spotted boy is not well at all."
That very same day, Momma Mall and Tall Paul took Small Paul to see Doctor Allergy. Doctor Allergy is a very smart man who helps children who have allergies. What is an allergy? I am glad that you asked that question. An allergy is something that makes you sick but does not make other kids sick. When you have an allergy you are the only one who gets sick. For example most kids can eat all the apples they want and never get sick. Another kid will take just one tiny bite, the size of your thumbnail, and he will be wheezing, sneezing, sputtering and coughing. Doctor Allergy finds out what kinds of food make a person feel unwell.